i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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