i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
