Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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