As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
