She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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