i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
