Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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