i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
