So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
