Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
