Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
