I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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