he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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