You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
