It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
