I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
