The best revenge is premature balding
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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