plz talk dirty to me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
