I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
