Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I skipped work to stalk him.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
