His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
