Just fell off a train. Bad.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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