Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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