This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
