dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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