have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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