Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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