Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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