she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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