Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
