Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just found puke in my bra..
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
