you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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