I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize