im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
