How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
