Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
