My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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