Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
