Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
