I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
