I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
