where does the pee come out of this thing
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
