the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just want nice things and good sex
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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