I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
