I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
