so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
