Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
