I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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