I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
