If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
