so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
