No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
