I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
then he tried to convert me to islam
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
